( Sensing Gumshoe's ineptitude, Edgeworth dives towards the television, dislodging his pillow in the process. Attempts to find its manual power button prove futile, and he ends up half-hugging the device, as though that might help to muffle the sound. )
( The remote somehow manages to fall upon its volume button, amplifying the sounds of rampant intercourse occurring all around them.
Edgeworth's certain he had a nightmare like this once. If only he didn't have a roommate, he would certainly run out of the apartment and never enter it again. Burn the place down, if he must!
Truly, it's only the thought of having to explain the situation to Charles that keeps him rooted on the spot, trying to drown out the noise and find a solution to the problem.
( Except he's clearly not. After a moment of panicked indecision, he makes a dive for the television, smashing a large fist against the slot in which he'd entered the DVD.
Thank god the detective had opted for physical media.
[He's panicked, but he tries to cheer him on! Clearly violence must be the answer! So he tries to get the remote again - and this time tries to stomp it into pieces!]
( Good work, Detective, Edgeworth thinks, but does not say. Maybe he'll remember to tell the other man later, but probably not. He is only human after all.
With one last slam of his fist, the screen blanks and quiets with one final noisy pop and after several moments of simply starting at the scene before him, Edgeworth turns to look at Gumshoe in stunned silence. )
Aw... but that vendor said his movies were the only ones that'd blow my world...! [He frowns as he rubs his head some more.]
I'm sorry, sir. I just wanted to give you a special present, a-and it ended up like this. Deduct my pay as much as you want, sir!! [He's just used to it being that way.]
The detective had meant well, despite how bumbling his attempts had been. )
You do realize I have no jurisdiction over your pay here?
( For the better or the worse. He crosses his arms over his chest. )
I think you should leave.
( It's not because Edgeworth's mad (for once), but because this situation they've created for themselves is so unfathomably awkward. More softly, he adds: )
( Edgeworth considers his options. On one hand, he doesn't want to spend anymore time with Gumshoe right now than is strictly necessary. On the other... Gumshoe's right, for once.
Helping clean this mess is the least the man can do. )
How about I go make myself some tea and I'll give you half an hour to tidy up?
( Edgeworth leaves the living area and heads to the kitchen to make his tea and unwind, or, more precisely, to process everything that has happened. He hears Gumshoe bustling in the room next door and he hopes the detective isn't making a mess of things.
Thus, he's pleasantly surprised when he returns after the allotted thirty minutes to discover his living room spotless.
[His work complete, Gumshoe heaves a deep breath and grins. Then he snaps into a salute.]
Th-thank you, sir! It's the least I could do as my atonement. In fact, I'll gladly clean this whole place at any time!! [He's sure he can do a better job than Charlie Boy.]
Of course, sir!! And I'll keep on doing all I can to make up for that mistake, I promise! N-no more porny movies! [He promises with a salute before he departs!]
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prismatica)
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I told you.
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S-sir. ...I think you mighta been onto something! This really does kinda seem like a... a porno!
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Turn it off, would you?!
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[The remote is suddenly slippery in his hands. As he tries to wrangle it, he ends up playing it with slowed down motion and heavily raised volume.]
Hang on, just... technical difficulties...!
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Detective, now!
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The image fades from the tv, and Gumshoe gives a relieved sigh. But only for a brief moment.
Because it seems he accidentally switched the tv to holo-mode. A life-sized hologram of the scene is now being projected around them!]
O-oh jeez!! [Gumshoe panics and covers his eyes, dropping the remote to the floor.]
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Edgeworth's certain he had a nightmare like this once. If only he didn't have a roommate, he would certainly run out of the apartment and never enter it again. Burn the place down, if he must!
Truly, it's only the thought of having to explain the situation to Charles that keeps him rooted on the spot, trying to drown out the noise and find a solution to the problem.
He blindly presses a button.
He hopes it's the right one. )
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...Before everything continues, but now with closed captioning, just as the button pressed calls for.]
Wh-what are you doing, sir?!
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( Except he's clearly not. After a moment of panicked indecision, he makes a dive for the television, smashing a large fist against the slot in which he'd entered the DVD.
Thank god the detective had opted for physical media.
He punches the device again. )
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[He's panicked, but he tries to cheer him on! Clearly violence must be the answer! So he tries to get the remote again - and this time tries to stomp it into pieces!]
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With one last slam of his fist, the screen blanks and quiets with one final noisy pop and after several moments of simply starting at the scene before him, Edgeworth turns to look at Gumshoe in stunned silence. )
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S-sorry, Mr. Edgeworth. It looks like it really was a porn after all. I knew I shoulda gone for "The Climax of the Samurai" instead...
[Because that sounds much better.]
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Whatever store you bought this from? I recommend staying away from it.
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I'm sorry, sir. I just wanted to give you a special present, a-and it ended up like this. Deduct my pay as much as you want, sir!! [He's just used to it being that way.]
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The detective had meant well, despite how bumbling his attempts had been. )
You do realize I have no jurisdiction over your pay here?
( For the better or the worse. He crosses his arms over his chest. )
I think you should leave.
( It's not because Edgeworth's mad (for once), but because this situation they've created for themselves is so unfathomably awkward. More softly, he adds: )
Let me deal with this mess.
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But then he frowns and slumps his shoulders at being told to leave - and attempts to protest.]
B-but Mr. Edgeworth! I can't just leave like this. At least let me clean up! It- it's the least I can do...!
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Helping clean this mess is the least the man can do. )
How about I go make myself some tea and I'll give you half an hour to tidy up?
( C o m p r o m i s e. He's learning! )
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Thank you, sir!! That's all I need! I promise, you won't regret this!
[And he really won't! Gumshoe will really go to town on the room and leave it cleaner than ever! All within half an hour.]
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Thus, he's pleasantly surprised when he returns after the allotted thirty minutes to discover his living room spotless.
He crosses his arms over his chest. )
Good work.
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Th-thank you, sir! It's the least I could do as my atonement. In fact, I'll gladly clean this whole place at any time!! [He's sure he can do a better job than Charlie Boy.]
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I'll let you know if I ever need a cleaner.
( All's well that ends well, right? )
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Nothing could make me happier, sir...!
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I will see you again in due course.
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