( Edgeworth answers the door when he hears footsteps approaching and once he takes in the sight of the detective he throws an exasperated look at the snack in the other man's hands. )
( Edgeworth splutters, brandishing the remote for the television which he holds in one hand, before loosing his grip and all but throwing it at the beleaguered detective. )
Heh, that's a pretty fancy way of saying to watch a movie sir. Aren't you gonna pay attention, too?
[He then reaches for the remote and turns it on, while chewing from his popcorn innocently.]
Look, see, it's starting! Nothing weird here. ...Oh I think I see where the misunderstanding came from, sir! Sure, he's taking his clothes off, but it's just so that he can change into his samurai gea-
[Then his eyes widen, and popcorn drops down from his mouth.]
( Edgeworth determinedly focuses his attention away from the television, lest he draw Gumshoe's gaze to his own reddening neck, knowing precisely what is currently playing out across the screen. Through gritted teeth, he repeats: )
It's pornography.
( Despite his objections to ... basically everything that is transpiring right now, he half-wishes he had some popcorn. He doesn't even like popcorn, but he feels it would make the situation more palatable. )
[He can have some popcorn if he wants! After all, Gumshoe's spilling his everywhere. Some of it's probably falling into Edgeworth's cravat!
Gumshoe shakes his head in denial.]
H-hang on, sir!! It's too soon to say that. This... this must be... one of those "artistic nude" scenes I heard so much about! Like... in The Titanic, sir!! [But it looks like the character's doing a little more than just waiting to be painted...]
You never have? But it's a classic, sir!! I- I'll have to find a way to show you sometime! They censor it when it's on tv, that's all!
[He sweats ]
Wow, this.... This artistic scene is really pushing it! But I'm sure the real samurai action will kick in any... any moment now. [He blinks.] Wh-what is with that moaning? Is... Is he hurt?!
( Damn it all. Despite this being perhaps the least arousing situation he has ever found himself in, he's not completely unaffected by said moaning, especially when he recalls the actions taking place on the screen.
This world has completely scrambled his brains, but not nearly as much as Gumshoe's.
[Gumshoe's already pretty red himself, as he searches for the remote.]
Of course it will, pal!! This... clearly, this must be some weird scene that was left in the movie on accident. It- it really shoulda been trimmed down or censored! That's what my detective instincts tell me. So we should just skip on past this part, and then you'll see that- that this should be an ordinary exciting thrilling movie! J-just like the Steel Samurai!
( This was a bad idea. A terrible idea. How did he not foresee the flaws in this plan? He wants to bolt to his bedroom and leave Gumshoe to his independent verification.
But that's perhaps an even worse idea. Instead, he crosses his arms. )
( Sensing Gumshoe's ineptitude, Edgeworth dives towards the television, dislodging his pillow in the process. Attempts to find its manual power button prove futile, and he ends up half-hugging the device, as though that might help to muffle the sound. )
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
prismatica)
no subject
no subject
[Gumshoe will eventually arrive at his door, with a large bucket of popcorn at the ready.]
no subject
You brought popcorn.
no subject
no subject
A pornographic movie.
no subject
W-we don't know that for sure yet, Mr. Edgeworth! We'll see, it's probably just some big misunderstanding. Anyway, popcorn's good with any movie, sir!
no subject
( He nods firmly at the discarded remote. )
You're welcome to verify its contents.
( Aaaaand he politely turns away. )
no subject
[He then reaches for the remote and turns it on, while chewing from his popcorn innocently.]
Look, see, it's starting! Nothing weird here. ...Oh I think I see where the misunderstanding came from, sir! Sure, he's taking his clothes off, but it's just so that he can change into his samurai gea-
[Then his eyes widen, and popcorn drops down from his mouth.]
W-wait, why are they showing... zooming in on...
no subject
It's pornography.
( Despite his objections to ... basically everything that is transpiring right now, he half-wishes he had some popcorn. He doesn't even like popcorn, but he feels it would make the situation more palatable. )
no subject
Gumshoe shakes his head in denial.]
H-hang on, sir!! It's too soon to say that. This... this must be... one of those "artistic nude" scenes I heard so much about! Like... in The Titanic, sir!! [But it looks like the character's doing a little more than just waiting to be painted...]
no subject
I've never seen the Titantic...
( Is that the right time to be making this assertion? Still pointedly averting his gaze, he continues: )
But I know it's been on free-to-air television!
( He winces in anticipation, pretty sure that the moaning is going to start soon. )
no subject
[He sweats ]
Wow, this.... This artistic scene is really pushing it! But I'm sure the real samurai action will kick in any... any moment now. [He blinks.] Wh-what is with that moaning? Is... Is he hurt?!
no subject
This world has completely scrambled his brains, but not nearly as much as Gumshoe's.
Not that the detective had many to begin with.
Edgeworth's fists are clenched as he mutters: )
Does he truly sound pained to you?
no subject
...N-no, I guess not. [It's like he's trying to process something.]
It doesn't sound like it hurts. It kinda... It kinda... It kinda sounds like...
...like...
...like he's enjoying it?
no subject
More popcorn falls everywhere. How had Gumshoe managed to get it into every nook and cranny of his apartment? )
Indeed, Detective, indeed. Now, why in the world do you think he might be enjoying it?
no subject
[He says blankly, as he tries to process this.]
Maybe! Maybe he's just not a good actor, pal? [He rubs at his head uncertainly. Then he spills some more popcorn as he reaches for the remote.]
A-actually, why don't we just fast forward a bit? I bet things'll be a lot better when we get to the main action!
no subject
Do you really think that will help?!
no subject
Of course it will, pal!! This... clearly, this must be some weird scene that was left in the movie on accident. It- it really shoulda been trimmed down or censored! That's what my detective instincts tell me. So we should just skip on past this part, and then you'll see that- that this should be an ordinary exciting thrilling movie! J-just like the Steel Samurai!
no subject
But that's perhaps an even worse idea. Instead, he crosses his arms. )
Skip as much as you'd like.
no subject
[Because that must be Edgeworth's priority right now.
Gumshoe locates the remote, skips ahead and - it leaves them right in the middle of some intense samurai-ninja orgy.]
Wh-what the heck?!
no subject
I told you.
no subject
S-sir. ...I think you mighta been onto something! This really does kinda seem like a... a porno!
no subject
Turn it off, would you?!
no subject
[The remote is suddenly slippery in his hands. As he tries to wrangle it, he ends up playing it with slowed down motion and heavily raised volume.]
Hang on, just... technical difficulties...!
no subject
Detective, now!
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)